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food and consumerism for strong stomachs, livers and wallets in china. also the occasional ranting.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

The Chinese History of Sleep

Woke up today, unemployed and achey breaky as usual. Responded to an email from Dirty, in which she kindly offered to send me anything I need from the US. I graciously decline, and then all of a sudden my fingers take a life of their own, and my sweet email back to her starts to erase, and an uncontrollable catharsis of bed rage spills out on the page. The issue is: why the fuck do Chinese people have no concept of comfortable mattresses! The bed I sleep on is so unforgiving, it feels like two boxsprings stacked on top of each other. I have asked my friends where the nearest Sleepy's is, and they simply laugh, and assure me I can spend $1k US to buy a mattress with a paltry padding not unlike a medium-flow day pantiliner, but it is futile, and I must give up all dreams of flouncy, downy softness. I am befuddled, and then I suddenly conjure up the image of ancient Chinese relics of PORCELAIN pillows.

Understanding, but not acceptance, slowly sets in.


I always wondered as a child who these two adorable, pale, cute friends of mine were. They never responded when I poked them, taunted them, and yes, mounted them. I thought they were the best buddies ever, never talking back and never budging to protect themselves. Then I found out they were porcelain pillows! Imagine a child trying to process the concept of cold, hard, nonsensically inflexible pillows. I tried to keep my distance from the stone cold duo for most of my teenage years, and made it obvious that I loved my body pillow more, since it was soft and lovingly absorbent of my angsty tears and drool. So anyways, I guess modernity in China travels at a snails pace, since they think mattresses modeled after concrete are in vogue. This is one thing I am NOT happy about.

1 comment:

Emily said...

So you need anything yet?? Besides a queen-size, pillow-top Simmons which I can't possibly fit into a manila envelope. What about American feminine products? I had a friend that needed those, refused to get the Chinese ones.